Living the life that you’ve always wanted:

Are you happy? Do you have joy in your life? What gets you out of bed each day with a smile on your face? What can you do effortlessly, and still make an impact? If you could do one thing for the rest of your life and earn a living, what would it be?

We were all created for a purpose. It’s up to us to discover what “it” is—the one thing that we are destined to do! Oprah Winfrey said, “There’s no greater gift that can be given or received than to honor your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.” Many of us know our purpose but are bogged down with how to begin. Some of us are afraid to live with purpose because we are afraid of failure.  We don’t want to disrupt our comfortable lives. We are playing it safe even though we realize staying in our comfort zone won’t make us happy. Whatever the excuse, if we know our purpose, we have taken the first step to our joy. We have begun our journey. Life coach Tony Robbins observed, “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.”

purpose-life

My book entitled When I Said Yes is a thank you letter to the people who inspired me to give my life to God. It is my testimony, my road map of how I changed my life. I will share three major points with you in hopes of helping you change your life so that you can discover your purpose.

Some of my stories may be dark, but that’s life. If we never face any challenges, then it means that we’re not growing. We are still in our comfort zone. Life is very boring when we are stagnant and continue to do the same thing every day.

Point #1: The first thing, and the most important thing that you must do in order to find your purpose and live the life that you’ve always wanted is to MAKE THE DECISION FOR YOURSELF TO CHANGE! THERE’S NO NEED TO CONSULT WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. THE DECISION IS YOURS TO OWN. Following your dreams is not a democratic decision! It’s autocratic! You are responsible for your own life and happiness.

In January 2008, I had to make the hardest decision of my life! I asked my husband for a divorce. When I got married, I thought that it would be forever. I never had the mindset that “I’ll give it 4 years, and then I’ll see how it goes.”  When I made the decision to go back to school, things fell apart. Arguments to distract me from studying happened every single day. It was mentally draining. In order to be successful, I had to tune out the noise, stuff my ears with cotton, and put on my blinders. If I were going to make my dreams a reality, I would need to be absolutely focused and driven. Consequently, I directed all my energy into my faith, self-belief, education, and work. I had rediscovered my self-worth.

Point #2: You must have supreme laser focus. No matter how tough situations may become, don’t quit! Be relentless! Pastor Joel Osteen always mentions focusing on the unseen and not the seen. The things that you see are subject to change. In other words, you must keep your eyes on the prize! Keep moving forward towards your goals. I had to do exactly that during my entire undergraduate nursing school experience. In 2008, after the housing market crashed, I struggled financially throughout my undergraduate career at ECU nursing school. I had to make another tough decision. I had just made a “C” on my first exam in nursing school in one of the most important courses, The Foundations of Nursing! I was very upset. I couldn’t continue to allow this to happen! “C” students were not allowed in my nursing program! I had to make a choice: I could continue to make “C’s” in nursing school and risk being kicked out, or I could quit my full-time job at BB&T so that with more time to study, I could successfully complete the program. The decision was easy to make, but asking my mother for financial help was difficult. She had just lost a large undisclosed amount of money from her 401K, and I was about to ask her to support me for the next two years. This would place a major financial burden on her.  She agreed to help me. In the beginning I did receive several eviction notices. I had faith that the money was always coming. My apartment manager knew my situation, but she had to do her job. I kept working hard, studying every day, moving forward. I kept believing in me! Things that are worth having require a lot of effort and determination. You need to conserve your energy for these moments! It’s your perseverance and tenacity that will make you successful!

Point #3: When you cross the finish line, take a deep breath and rejoice! Celebrate your victories and yourself! You’ve won! You’ve accomplished your goal! Be proud of yourself! Most importantly, be grateful for where you are, and be thankful for all the people who helped you along the way. 

finding-your-purpose

In December 2011, I graduated with honors! I celebrated with my family, went to the gym, and bought a pizza later that evening. I didn’t want to think about studying for the National Council Licensure Examination (NCLEX). I was  mentally exhausted from overcoming everything that I had gone through to graduate. Plus, I still needed to make money to pay my rent. After I was offered a position as a newly graduated nurse at Nash General Hospital in Greenville, NC, I scheduled the NCLEX in the middle of January 2012. I worked every single day and night to get caught up on my rent. I was too mentally burned out to study for the NCLEX. I tried to study at work. When I was at home, all I wanted to do was sleep. I spent the day before the exam cramming for the test—something I had never done.

On exam day, I was petrified. I saw my life flash before my eyes. All the negative thoughts that I had dismissed for four years were all I could think about. I became very nervous, nauseous and sweaty. I had never experienced anything like I was going through. I was unprepared, and my mind was reminding me. I FAILED the test.

The next day, I swallowed my pride and told my family, my college professors, and the Director of Nursing at Nash General Hospital that I had failed the exam. I was devastated, embarrassed, and ashamed. I had to wait forty-five days until I could take the test again.

I thought that the process to be accepted into nursing school was long. Those forty-five days would be the longest days of my life. After my pity party was over, and the “world” had discovered that I failed my exam, I went back to work. I continued to work for three more weeks until I reached my breaking point. I was tired of being a nurse’s aide, and I was tired of the constant reminder of my failure. I went home, planned my study schedule, bought additional study materials, and got down to business. By this time, I had already received the breakdown of my NCLEX test score. I used the summary of test questions to prepare for my retake. I was no longer burnt out.  I was on fire to ace this test. I treated each day like a job. I studied eight hours per day for the next forty-five days. I broke each week down into categories (Neuro, Cardiovascular, Pulmonary, Renal, Gastrointestinal, Integumentary, Nutrition, etc.). I went to the gym to exercise each day to control my stress. Failing the NCLEX rekindled my passion. I was determined not to let this happen again. Besides, my new job as a new grad nurse was being held for me. I couldn’t let myself, my family, and Nash General Hospital down again.

Purpose

When my test day arrived, I was excited.  I was pumped up like I used to be in nursing school. I was never afraid of taking tests. A test is an opportunity to prove to the instructor that I understand and can apply the information that has been taught to specific situations. It was my opportunity to shine. I remembered the check-in process, so I was not nervous at all. Once the exam began, it was showtime. I read each question four times, and then I would say the answer in my mind before looking at the test answers. I did this for every question. I answered ninety-five questions before the computer shut off. I was terrified. Either I passed this test, failed again, or there was a computer glitch. On my first NCLEX exam, I answered over 200 questions. So, this was a big deal now. By the grace of God, I passed my exam and was now a Registered Nurse. I had accomplished my mission! I began working at Nash General Hospital on the Cardiopulmonary Unit the following week. I was ecstatic.

When you decide to take a leap of faith and live the life that you’ve always wanted, remember that it’s a journey, not a sprint. Things will not happen immediately! Everything will be a process. Mostly, a learning process. You will discover things about yourself that you never knew!  You will amaze yourself. Your confidence in yourself will continue to excel. Mark Twain was right when he said, “The two best days of your life are the day you’re born, and the day that you find out why!